Congratulations to both of you on your engaygement! For many of us, this is something that been a part of our thoughts and dreams for a very long time and it’s tempting to want to sit down and plan the whole wedding in one shot. Depending on your time frame, this probably isn’t necessary. What you can do, however, is make sure that you are enjoying the moment properly and gearing up for a bit of gay wedding planning in the future. Here are a few things that you can do right now to get started.
You’ve officially declared your commitment to each other and are in a place that many couples are still working towards or dream of being someday. Spend time with your partner and enjoy the moment without letting any of the stress of planning a wedding invade. Do something special for your partner, whether it be a sweet gift, dinner out to celebrate or just a nice massage to make them feel that they are the center of your universe.
Make Some Engagement Announcements
It’s time to tell people that you are engayged but be sure to respect the order of things. We made sure not to throw anything up on Facebook, or let our friends do it, until parents and children were given the good news first. Phone calls to these people are ok if they are not local. Text messages are not. This is an important milestone and not something to be taken casually. Once the family and closest friends are given the opportunity to congratulate you, social media is then fair game.
Get Your Ring Sized and Insured
If your beautiful new ring doesn’t fit, be sure to get it sized as soon as possible so that you don’t lose it as you flaunt it. Some places can do this while you wait while others can do it in less than 24 hours. You may also want to consider getting it insured. Contact your insurance agent or broker for details about adding the ring to an existing policy.
Yes, your hands will probably be getting more than average attention in the coming days. My fiancee and I did both get manicures (at her insistence) when we got engaged. I don’t wear nail polish and I bite my nails so I’m not sure that it was of much benefit on my part. However, it was something new that we did together and a simple French manicure never hurt anyone.
Decide on a Wedding Date
One of the many questions you will get from well-wishers is – “When are you getting married?”. This is a standard out of most people’s mouths after “Congratulations”. At the very least, consider nailing down a month or a season. We settled on “next June” and then picked an exact date a month or two later. Of course, it’s ok not to know but consider that you will get asked this question – repeatedly.
Plan a Wedding Budget and Start Saving
Wedding plans and wedding budgets are vastly different amongst couples for varying reasons. Whether you want a huge, elaborate wedding or a small intimate affair or something in the middle it’s important to get a handle on this early on so that you can start your planning and start saving. If you are expecting help from parent or family, you will need to speak to them about this early on as well so that there are no surprises or disappointments later. We put together our budget for both a wedding and a honeymoon and started saving immediately. I found it helpful to open up a separate savings account specifically for this purpose.
Will You Use a Wedding Planner or “Do It Yourself”?
Are you one of those people who like to have control over every aspect of a situation or can you “let go” and trust the process? Of course, having a wedding planner would simplify things a great deal but it will cost you additional money. Consider also that you may have family and friends who would love to step in and help you plan the gay wedding of your dreams.
Start Cultivating Creative Ideas
It’s ok to start browsing the net and grabbing a few of those wedding magazines to get some creative ideas for your same sex wedding. You can get ideas for a theme wedding and organize around that and even some ideas on types of venues that you may not have thought of. I know that we briefly considered having a camp wedding after seeing some really unique things that fit our personalities. Particularly if you have decided against hiring a wedding planner, these resources will become invaluable to you in getting the creative juices flowing.
Prepare a Preliminary Guest List
Yes, it’s early but part of sorting out your budget is figuring out how many people you plan to have at your wedding. Sit down with your partner and hammer this out and consider the effect that the size of your list has on your overall budget, especially when it comes to catering. You may also want to check with parents to be sure that you are not missing important people if you are having a larger affair.
Hammer Out a Few of the Details
With your budget planned and the guest list prepared, you can now start to fill in the other details. Some of things you will need to consider are: The Venue(s) (where you are having the wedding and reception), catering and menu, wedding cake, photographer, flowers, music, transportation, and honeymoon arrangements.
IF this is what you want, this is the perfect time to make these decisions. Same sex weddings oftentimes buck this tradition and the great thing is that we can do anything that we want here. Common courtesy still reigns in that we should ask our attendants for assistance with as much notice as possible and let them know how much their involvement will mean to you.
Time for Shopping
With some of these other details taken care of, consider a preliminary shopping excursion for your awesome gay wedding attire. This is also a great opportunity to spend time with friends or family and relax. Look at the styles that match your body type and the particular season that you plan to get married in. Some people, myself included, prefer to wait until a little closer to the wedding date to purchase wedding attire as they intend to drop a few sizes for their nuptials.
Take Care of Yourself
Planning a Gay Wedding can be stressful – I know. It’s ok to take a break and just pamper yourself with a manicure, pedicure, massage – heck, a full day at the spa. Allow friends and family to help you out even when you’re tempted to do everything on your own.
Spend Time With Your Partner
Don’t forget why you’re here – your relationship with your fiance/fiancee should be better than it’s ever been. Spend time together and do it without discussing the wedding. Continue to go on romantic dates and remember why you’re doing all of this in the first place.
Getting engaged is one of the most exciting milestones in life and, that short time between engagement and the wedding ceremony is a time that should be enjoyed by you and your partner and you move towards a new life together, not a time full of stress and tough decisions. While planning a same sex wedding can be overwhelming at times, remembering to spend time together and getting help from family and friends are ways to make it more enjoyable and a time of continuing celebration.